Demons Inside Me

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”

     Recent events have caused me to think a-lot over the last few days about people and their "demons" as we call them. Each and every one of us has our own unique problems. If this is new to you, please stop reading now and crawl back in your hole. My inquiry is not focused on bitching about people and why they have issues, but rather an inquisitional statement questioning the methodology behind how we deal with our problems, and how most people seem to have no clue how to begin dealing with their problems.
    Number one on my list... KILLING YOURSELF IS NOT A WAY TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS!!! Neither is suicide's attention whore-ish little sister, attempted suicide (aka self mutilation, overdosing, cutting, etc). People who try to solve their problems by hurting themselves really have no fucking idea how to deal with their problems! Really People? Try doing what I do when I get stressed... Go cut down some trees, Shoot at some Justin Bieber posters, or do something constructive! I have been very fortunate in the fact that I have never seriously contemplated harming myself (except to get out of work... just kidding, attempted humor!).
     I think what I am trying to get at is the fact that you have the same amount of issues as the person next to you, you are no worse off than anybody else in this planet is. Granted, we all have our ups and downs, and you may be having a worse day than everyone else, but trust me when I say that we have all been there! Stop the bullshit and face your problems head on, the right way! You cant make them go away, you have to deal with them! It is also ok to ask others for help, and I actually find it respectable to have the ability to admit you need help once in a while! Long story short... “I stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.”... Deal with your issues, dont blame me or anyone else, and dont expect them to disappear into thin air with some magical spell!

The Fire-Service Today

Dear Friends, Colleges, and Readers,

     I decided to write this article because of my extreme disgust with the Albion Fire Department. As a Firefighter, my goal is to help the community when it is in need. I have given up countless hours in my life to serve the community and help people, not because I have to, but because I have a genuine care for my fellow man. That being said, I find it a huge challenge to be a Firefighter, not because of the workload, but because of the people in charge of the department.

     I was suspended for 30 days last night for reasons I don't quite agree with. It all starts a few months ago. Someone had called in a complaint to the fire department because I had been driving too fast through town on my way to fire calls. I can live with getting in trouble for that, and will admit that I had a rather "flamboyant" driving style on my way to fire calls. The next complaint I got was that I had almost ran someone off the road. This one I do not agree with, nor was I given any details, only told that I almost ran someone off the road. Some street names, circumstances, or any information other than "You almost ran someone off the road" would have been helpful for me to understand what had happened, but I was not given any information and do not recall coming anywhere close to running someone off the road. Sorry, I am still making payments on my truck, and dont really feel like fucking it up by running someone off the road. Now the next one is what gets me... I was told by my Chief that "Everyone speeds to fire calls". A perfect example is the one line officer in the fire department that likes to drive 100mph down 104 and pass school buses with their red lights on, and of coarse nobody yells at him. My Chief proceeded to tell me that "Unfortunately, with the roads you have to take through town, you cant get away with speeding". What I get out of that is that its ok for everyone else to speed, its just not ok for me to speed. After this, I was upset to the point where I didn't go to any calls for about a month and gave up my position as secretary for the department. Last night is when shit really hit the fan. I was hanging out with some of my friends, and two back to back calls came in. I figured that the department would be short staffed because it was 3am and two calls had come in one right after the other, so I made my way down to the 2nd call, an MVA (going the speed limit). As I approached the accident scene, I saw a car off the road, and no emergency vehicles or blue lights in sight. I had two friends with me in my truck because they were with me when the calls came in. Both of them collaborate to the fact that there was nobody on the south side of the accident (the direction I came from). Out of nowhere, the Captain comes running out in the middle of the road (no traffic vest on of course) and tells me to "Get back down to the hall right now and don't leave, you were going way over the speed limit". Now, the posted speed limit is 40 mph, and my friends told me I was only going about 35. I don't see how that adds up to being over the speed limit? I went back to the hall and waited about 30 minutes for the Captain to show up and hand me his ass-peeling. He told me that I was speeding and that I blew past a fire police officer. Recall earlier when I had said there was nobody in sight on the south side of the accident? I find it hard to believe that I blew past someone who wasn't there. I also got yelled at for having "Non fire department personnel" in my truck. I told him that I had taken time out of my night to come down and try to help the two firefighters (yes, only two firefighters and a driver responded) and happened to have my friends with me. Now what am I supposed to do, pull over, tell them to get out and walk? Now for the good stuff that just tickles my insides. I find it very professional that my Captain and Chief decided to bitch me out in front of my friends. Thank you, though I thought that kind of stuff was supposed to be conducted in private as a matter of professional courtesy? And for the cherry on top of the sundae, I had one of my friends convinced to join the fire department, a friend who had run into a burning building the day before to wake up a family sleeping downstairs, a friend who now has seen the bullshit that goes on in the fire department and wants nothing to do with it anymore. Now, remember, this is just what has happened to me recently.

     A fellow firefighter recently went to a structure fire and was suffering mild heat exhaustion and dehydration. The Chief made him go to the hospital to get checked out. After he got back, the president of the department made a smart ass remark about how the next time he needed a drink of water he would call the ambulance. I had to go over to this friends house afterwards and convince him to stay in the department because he was ready to quit right then and there.

     That is just the tip of the iceberg. There are several more events and problems I am not going to go into because of the damaging effect they could have on several of my friends. To sum it up, I thought that Firefighting was supposed to be a brotherhood, but it seems to be more of an elitist club, and if your not on someones buddy list, your fucked! Shoot me a comment below and let me know what you think of all of this.

EDIT: I do not intend this to describe all fire departments, this is just my experience in the Albion Fire Department.

Friends in Fallacy

     It seems to me that in current times, most people are operating as friends in fallacy. In this context, fallacy is taken to mean "Deceptive in appearance". It becomes more apparent the more you hang out with people... The majority of the human race makes for really shitty friends!

     A friend of mine recently told me that they really enjoyed hanging out with me because they could be themselves around me without fear of me thinking less of them or judging them. That made me feel really good inside, but at the same time it made me sick. I would hate to see some of the people who call themselves friends, only to put someone down and make them feel bad about themselves to the point they try to hide who they are as a person! That is another thing I have noticed a-lot of lately, "Friends" who put other friends down, say nasty and hurtful things about them, just to make themselves seem cool or to make other people laugh. Depending on the friendship, this can be perfectly acceptable and taken in good humor, but for the majority of people, it hurts! Oh, and if you don't know your friends well enough to know that if you make a slightly dark humored joke about them, if it will hurt them or not, where the fuck have you been? Be a better friend!

     Another thing I love is "Fair Weather Friends", another form of Friends in Fallacy. Any of you guys have those friends that only come around when they need you, be it as a form of entertainment because they are bored, or because they actually need your help with something? I have had a fair number of them over the past few years, and I will name one just because I dont give a fuck about him anymore: Anthony Figueroa. I remember we used to hang out almost every day. I ended up hooking him up with a nice starter car for $700, taking him out to practice for his road test, and taking him to get his drug test so he could get a job. All I got in the end was a giant "Fuck you" because of a small prank. One of my true friends stepped in and stood up for me, reminding Anthony that I was a good friend, but in the end I was told to dump the true friend who had stood up for me. Well sorry Anthony, it doesn't work that way! In short, be careful with people who never seem to be there when you need them. You will get taken advantage of, its just a matter of how long you get strung along.

     In spite of all this recent turmoil with friends, I have one closing statement to make. Throughout life, you will have many friends. Over time you will realize that some of them matter, some never mattered, some of them will disappear, but you cant stop making new friends. You may go through hundreds of friends, but there will be some good friends that will stick with you forever, and if you don't look, you will never find them!